This is an blip taken from the book I am reading called 'I kissed dating goodbye' by Joshua Harris. Here he talks about having godly relationships with the opposite sex. This is really neat!
Affection:
I'm the oldest of seven kids in my family. I have five brothers and one sister. I love all my brothers, but little Sarah has a special place in my heart. There's an affection for her that's unique. My brothers understand and feel the same way about her. We want to protect her and care for her. She's our sister, and that means something very precious.
This is what Paul was getting at when he instructed Timothy to treat the younger women as sisters. Ladies, the reverse is true for you: God wants you to view the younger men as brothers. Totally separate from romantic interest and dating. We're to care deeply about each other. In another place Paul describes more of what this looks like: "Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other" (Romans 12:10, NLT).
Do you have this kind of godly affection for brothers and sisters? Do you pray for them? Do you look for ways to encourage them in their walk with God? Do you delight in honoring them? One of the small groups in my church comprised of single men and women has done a great job of fostering this kind of environment. On one occasion the men in the group planned a special dinner for the ladies, served all the food, and even had special gifts for each girl. After the meal the men shared reasons why they respected and valued the friendship of each girl. This is genuine affection!
It's important to be consistent--don't show kindness only to those people you have a romantic interest in. Instead show kindness to all your brothers and sisters. This isn't flirting for the purpose of stirring romantic interest in someone; it's showing Christlike brotherly love.
Side by Side:
Gentlemen, are you the kind of friend to the girls in your life that you will one day hear from their husbands, "thank you for being a brother to my wife"? Ladies, do you relate you your guy friends in a way that would make their future wives want to seek you out and thank you for being a sister to their husbands?
When we're single, we can become obsessed with the questions of how we're going to get to know our future husband or wife. "how do we have the friendship we need in order to one day get married?"
It's not wrong to ask these questions, but I think we need to see that an even more important question is, "How can I start being the kind of friend to the opposite sex that they need?" We need to take our focus off of ourselves and look for ways to serve those around us.
God wants us to neither run from each other nor use each other in an indulgent pursuit of short-term romance. He's calling us to be firmly committed to biblical friendships. In brother-sister relationships, men and women spur each other on to godliness- they stand against wickedness together, they seek God together, they honor one another and grow in grace side by side.
2 comments:
I really want to read this book now.
Dang...if I had read it years ago I would have made $20 too and enjoyed it!
...oh well.
I have read this book many times, and yet every time I read it, I find something new I didn't see before. This quip from the book is awesome! I pray God will provide you with Godly men who will treat you this way, and that he will give you opportunities to bless the men of God around as brothers as well! I enjoyed reading your blogs.
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