If you wanted me

I'll admit I'm glad we're not disciples
Out on a lake paralyzed with fright
'Cause I'm afraid I might have laughed at Peter
Until he stepped into that stormy night

If You wanted me to walk on water
Why'd You make this solid ground seem so right?

I'll admit I'm glad I'm not King David
Ruling over everything I see
'Cause I think I've fallen for more than Bathsheba
Your creation's a temptation for me

If You wanted me to love You only
Why'd you make the moonlight sparkle in her eyes?

I'll admit I'm glad I'm not John the Baptist
In a jail cell waiting for my day to die
'Cause at least down here I know what we're chasing
And it's hard to trust Your dreams are so much better than mine

If You wanted me to die to myself
Why'd You make me fall so deeply in love with life?

If You wanted me to surrender
Why'd You make these hands able to hold on so tight?

If You wanted me to be like You
Why'd You make me like me?

~Todd Agnew

My One Heart

"If only my one heart
Was all you'd gain from all it cost
Well I know you would have still been a man
With a reason
To willingly offer your life" - From 'Sea Of Faces 'by Kutless

I heard this song on the radio the other day. It's one of those songs that I know all the words to by heart. Yet I never truly knew the words. I was sitting quite in my car listening to this song as I was driving home. I was truly listening to the words this time. When I heard those lines, it awoke something deep inside me. I don't think we could ever truly grasp what the Lord did for us by laying down his life. Even if I was the only one who was saved by what he did, he would have still done it. That's how much he loves me. Even if YOU where the only one who was saved by what he did, he would have still done it. He loves YOU that much.

So often we go about our busy lives and forget this simple truth. It's one thing knowing that he died for me, for you, for all your christian friends, but its another to know that he died for people you hate. People who you might believe have no reason to be loved. The bible tells us that Jesus came for All mankind. That means he died for the terrorist who crashed the plane on 9/11, he died for serial killers and people who worship satan. And he would have died for them even if they where the only ones saved. Now I'm not saying that what these people do is right, what I am saying is Jesus loves them just the same as he loves me and just the same as he loves you. I am talking to myself as much as anyone else. I to often forget this.

In the truth project Dr. Del Tackett talks about how we should view non-Christians as 'prisoners of war'. This was an eye opener for me. I always knew that Christ loved all, and that we are called to tell others about the good news of Christ, but I would view the people I didn't like as the enemy. That I had to try and convince the enemy to change sides. But seeing them as POW's makes me view them so different. Instead of fighting them, we are supposed to show them how to be rescued, how to be saved in Christ Jesus. Most do not even know that they have been taken by the enemy. They are meant to be on our side but satan has blinded their eyes. In Luke 23:34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

Most Christan's pray for the Lord to come quickly, but I would challenge you to pray that he would hold out just one more day. The bible says in 2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." One more day that one more soul might be saved. I understand both sides of this. Yes I want to go home. I want to be with my Lord in perfect peace where there is no more tears, no more pain. But I also long for those who are going to hell. Its easy for us to pray for those we love. Our family, friends, co-workers, but the Lord wants not ONE to perish. I urge you to pray for the drug dealers, the prostitutes and the murders. Not that they would go unpunished, but that they would find repentance in Christ Jesus. Pray for him to hold out just one more day. Just one more, for that one soul can be saved.

The song said "If only my one heart was all you'd gain from all it cost, well I know you would have still been a man with a reason to willingly offer your life" What if that one heart belonged to the murder, the gang-banger, or the Neo-Nazi? Would we still want to pray for the Lord to hold out one more day? I challenge you to not just pray these things because it's the right thing to do, but because you truly wish for all to be saved. Don't just sit around at pray for them to find repentance, but get out and show them his love as well. Christ went to the broken, to the outcasts and showed them his love. We are called to do the same. In the end, it is their choice, but I know that in my heart I need to be at peace that I did what I could to show them his love. Even if that just means living a Godly life for all to see. Not all are called to be missionaries, but all are called to evangelize in whatever way that might be. I pray that the Lord would give you HIS heart for the lost, and HIS strength to reach beyond your comfort zone to those who are hurting.

Thank you Jesus for dieing for me. Thank you for dieing for the world. Thank you so very much that you care about each and every person. That you see us as our own and love everyone individually. And I would ask that you would forgive us of those times we so often forget this. I pray that everything I have written came from you and not from me. Please open our eyes and open our hearts to your love. Praise you Jesus.

If you have not noticed

I love to post song lyrics. I think just cuz I cant always express what I want to say and well, they can. These songs just speak to me. The first one you can hear on my myspace page.....

Bring you back by Paul Alan

Are you thirsty,

Standing in the rain?

Not sure where you are

Or how you lost your way?
hey, hey, hey

Are you drowning

In some bar outside of town?

Searching for something given not found?

A crowd of people

But totally alone?

At the front door

But worlds away from home?

Light up the night's last regret and

Burn your only safety net and

Step to the edge

It's such a long way down and

I left the ninety-nine to find the one

And you're the one

I walked a thousand miles

In this desert sun

Only to bring you back

Are you tired

Of chasing the wind under water?

Do you aspire to breathe again?

Are you dying?

Is that the best that you can do?

Cause you can't find your place

In a world that wasn't meant for you?

I left the ninety-nine to find the one

And you're the one

I walked a thousand miles

In this desert sun

Only to bring you back

Hello, it's me

I couldn't sleep

I was just counting sheep

And I'm missing you,

Hello, it's me

I couldn't sleep

I was just counting sheep.

I left the ninety-nine to find the one

And you're the one I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun

Only to bring you back. I left the ninety-nine to find the one

And you're the one

I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun

Only to bring you back

Only to bring you back

.......................................................

Luke 15:4
"If you had one hundred sheep, and one of them strayed away and was lost in the wilderness, wouldn’t you leave the ninety–nine others to go and search for the lost one until you found it?

......................................................

Give me your eyes by Brandon Heath

Look down from a broken sky

Traced out by the city lights

My world from a mile high

Best seat in the house tonight

Touch down on the cold black top

Hold on for the sudden stop

Breath in the familiar shock

Of confusion and chaos

All those people going somewhere

Why have I never cared

Chorus:

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken hearted

The ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me you heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Step out on a busy street

See a girl and our eyes meet

Does her best to smile at me

To hide what’s underneath

There’s a man just to her right

Too ashamed to tell his wife

He’s out of work, He’s buying time

Chorus

I’ve been here a million times

A couple of million eyes

Just move and pass me by

I swear I never thought that I was wrong

I need a second glance

Give me a second chance

To see the way you’ve seen the people all along

Chorus

Scream by ZoeGirl

Does anybody know how I feel?

Sometimes I'm numb, sometimes I'm overcome

Does anybody care what's going on?

Do I have to wear my scars like a badge on my arm

For you to see me, I need release

Do I have to scream for you to hear me?

Do I have to bleed for you to see me?

'Cause I grieve, you're not listening to me

Do I need to scream?

Has anybody seen what's been done?

Where was my defense? No one heard my protest

The eyes of God were watching me

It's time to make my peace, let it go and be released

So I can breathe again

I'm on my knees

I've been marked, set apart

But I'm cut so deep and afraid of the dark

One drop of blood from the hole in Your hand

Is enough to heal me and make me stand

'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me

I don't have to scream for Him to hear me

Don't have to bleed for Him to see me

'Cause I'm clean, He is listening to me

I don't have to scream

I don't have to bleed

'Cause I'm clean, He is listening

And I don't have to scream

...................................................................................

Wow, does this ever tell it like it is

CHECK! Im a whore. And a forgiven one at that!

I did it!!!!

After 19 1/2 years........... I finally surrendered it all to Christ. Every bit of me! I had surrendered in parts, but never truly like I did yesterday. I am finally where I need to be. Of course not saying I'm done growing! Heck no! I am just getting started. But this is just one more step closer to him. I am going to have to work on it for the rest of my life, remembering to surrender to him fully, but he's good. He won't leave me high and dry. Oh gosh, I love the LORD!

.....................................................................................

I have to say, I'm pretty darn impressed with the truth project. This last one.....wow. The all mighty God dwelling in me? Not just a part of him, but ALL of him?! I am now invited into the God-head?!?! NO WAY!!!!

It's so cool to think about, God is in me.God is in you. Really think about that. Now that does not mean we are like God, or that we are God. Heck no! I know myself are you kidding me? I would be a scary god! I wouldn't even want to worship me.

It was also so very convicting. Just looking at my thought life, how I struggle with that! I hardly have any outside sin, but the things in my mind. God forgive me! I have become a whore in my search for significance.

Sadly if someone says 'God, today your not enough for me.' It doesn't seem to weigh much because guess what, we do it every day. But comparing that to a husband waking up and saying to his wife ' you know? your just not enough for me today. I am going to go find my fulfillment somewhere else.' Or every morning a wife waking up and telling her husband ' gosh you really aren't doing it for me. I'm going to find something/someone better, but you better be here when I come back!' That is what it is like when we turn and look for our satisfaction and our significance in things other then God. The bible portrays this as whoring yourself or prostituting ones self out. This is how God feels and sees it when we turn away from him, even if its for the slightest things, if they become our significance, we are lost.

The amazing thing is though, God forgives us if we ask him to. As far as the east is from the west.

Thank you Jesus!

CHECK! I'm a whore. And a forgiven one at that!

A Day Late

"So let me get this straight
You say now you loved me all along
What made you hesitate to tell me with words what you really feel?
I can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say
I remember so along ago, see I felt that same way
Now we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers)
Insignificantly enough we both have significant others

Only time will tell
Time will turn and tell

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

But thoughts they change and times they rearrange I don't know who you are anymore
Loves come and go and this I know I'm not who you recall anymore
But I must confess you're so much more than I remember
Can't help but entertain these thoughts, thoughts of us together

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

So let me get this straight
All these years and you were no where to be found
And now you want me for your own
But you're a day late and my love, she's still renowned

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when"

Dear Loved One

If only you could see the truth. I wish I could show you your going to hell. No it's not a party, it's not a joke. it's eternal torment. It's all seperation from God. Why wont you listen to me? Why can't you just beleive me? I don't want to leave without you......